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| Dated october 30 :) Have you ever watched kids on a merry go round? Have you ever heard the rain slapping on the ground? Or have you ever noticed the sun gazed into the fading night?.. Life moves so fast. Well, life moves so fast that I didn’t even bother to notice what’s happening already. In less than half a year, I’ll be leaving highschool. So fast, that I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready to face college, I’m scared that I won’t be able to pass any of those college entrance exams I’m taking. J Well, I might pass but I wish it’s a good school. So anyways, 3rd quarter is starting already and so far, my first and second were okay. Praise God for that! Eventhough I’m not that smart and stuff, I still made my parents proud cos my grades were acceptable and that really really made them happy. I’ve always wanted to make my parents happy. I know sometimes I tend to make them mad but I really really love them. I’ve always wanted them to be proud of me.. It’s just I can’t resist making mistakes all over again. But still again, they understand and that makes me feel I’m lucky. Eventhough my life has its own ups and downs, I always survive. I was never into any point that I tried to kill myself or bring myself down. I always stand up and say to myself that I can do this. Too good that I have my friends to help me, my parents to guide me, and God to enlighten me. Isn’t this life just wonderful? Eventhough life is uncontrollable right now and I’m still confused of a lot of things, I never lose hope. I still keep believing that everything would be okay even when it feels like it isn’t. Haaayyy, I just wish I know what to do. I wish signs would come to me right now. I wish this confusion would end. But whatever, hey, I’m still hanging on to that thought that everything will be alright. | | |
| Dated October 25. Okay. So first things first, report cards were distributed yesterday. And luckily, my grades weren't that bad. No line of 7s baby. I'm ranked 16th out of 40 people in our class. Not bad, right? Atleast, most of my grades were increased. And that made me happy.. My parents? Happier :) So anyway, I can't understand my life right now. Haha! Weird huh? I'm having fun then suddenly stupid thoughts make me reflect on what to do right now. And those thoughts made me realize I'm not doing the right things anymore. I guess. Eventhough my grades improved, I can feel that there's still something wrong with me. I don't know how to changes those things. So for now, let time tell me. I really don't know what to do anymore. What else? I've got a problem and only two people know it. I don't really know how to solve it. Waahh, it just confuses me. I really really don't know what to do. But again, let time tell me. So random stuff.. Today was cool, nothing bad happened. The first three subjects were Physics, Math and Computer. Discussions in Math and Physics, then Computer was boring. Had lunch then PE. We had a bit of discussion then practical test. Screw badminton! Especially scooping, I sucked big time. I failed the practical test. After that, recess then English. Chekwa sat beside me since he can't see the writings on the board. Haha! Nakakatopak kasi nagkapalit kami ng notebook habang nagseatwork! Bobo kasi. Haha! Then after that AP, went to the AVR to watch an example of our dance for the academic week. Nako, puro practice din sa sembreak! Kamusta naman? Haha! | | |
| So I'm keeping my xanga up. For those who wish to see my blog and have no account in multiply, I'll be posting some of my entries here. But still, my multiply is still accurate. | | |
| Oh well. I haven't blogged for a while. I've miss it :) A lot of things already happened. So anyway,
this entry will be visible in my multiply too. I just want a lot of people to add comments about my entries. So its summer already. I still don't feel any freedom from stress during these past few days. I still can't feel
the summer even though its hot and all. For me, summer is the time I used to rest and just sleep and do things
I can't do when there are classes. But I guess this time, its a big no no. My grades weren't that so good. I'm barely
failing in chemistry and my math grade is drowning. So 80% sure, I'm going to take summer classes. I just took summer classes
when I started studying in Seton. If I was still studying in CSR, I won't have a failing grade or have atleast nice grades. Darn it.
Really. Your third year report cards will be the one shown when you apply for college. Its a shame if you show those colleges
grades like pasang awa or something. How can you enter a nice school if its like that, right? :) So anyway, I'm still
undecided on what course to take. I'll spend my summer thinking about it. :) I still have a lot of time anyway. So what else? I'm missing Weewatz already. I'm just not used on not sharing with them what's been up lately. They're the
one's I can lean to whenever I need a back to back me up. I just miss them. :) So, better update me guys. Alright? Just
text me using Vin's number. Alright? ;) Much love. I miss VV too. Ghad guys, we still have a lot of plans to work on this summer. We're already Seniors next year. I just can't
imagine I'm just the only one who's not going to graduate in CSR. Sucks man, but I promise I'm going to be there next year during
your graduation. Blanche and Ionne are so lucky. They will get to spend with you guys more. Hmp. Anyway, I'm just a text away if
you need me, alright? So I miss my boyfriend already. Time just flies so fast. We're already 2 months tommorow. :) I just wish I could see
him. Though he can go here, coincidences happen. Either I go out with my family or something. Anyway, glad we worked
things out already. We ran into a fight last night. Long story. We ended up disappointed until the next day afternoon.
He was crying already over the phone. He was really afraid of losing me. I'm so okay that that fight didn't last for a long time.
Or else, if it did, maybe our feelings for each other will just sink. But, that fight was both our fault. He didn't know what he was doing
and I should have just understand him. I'm so lucky he's my boyfriend because even though I was like that, he still had patience
and he never gave up in understanding me. I love you so much Vin. I'm also scared to lose you. So anyway, I just have to end this already. I miss blogging, really. Lovelove guys. | | |
| Well, not a good Monday I guess. I feel so easily irritated. I don't even have an idea why. Its sucks. :<
Well, anyways. Sometimes, I just feel like not talking at all. Sometimes I just feel like minding my own business and not caring about other people's business. I don't know. Some people are weird. They fight you for no reaseon, bully you when they want to and even get irritated at you for no reason. I always tell to myself, "Aba, kayo pa ngayon naiirita." Something like that. Well, I just don't show them what I really feel. Its not a big deal for me anyways. =)
S o yeah, what happened today? Our first subject was math. Since its shortened period, we just got to check our homeworks, plus, Ms. Jho got pissed off by Isabelle. Haha. Anyway, second subject was English, Ms Rene' [well, I don't know how to spell her name.], substituted for Ms. Monik becuase she is in the hospital right now because of Pneumonia. After that, TLE and we just worked on our feasibility study.The lunch time, I was not in the mood to talk to anyone because I was having my headache so I just kept quiet. After that was chemistry. Ms. Mariliz just gave a quiz and we answered that for two whole periods. Then we had recess, CCF and AP. Well, classes ended up at 3pm but we still have to go to the Miting de Avance in the gym. I didn't listen because I was busy playing charge and bang with Kyra and I was paying attention to Yna because se was getting pissed off by someone that time. The Miting de Avance ended up at around 4:30pm. Vin waited me infront of the chapel. Since Im not allowed to go out of the school already, Vin just stayed with me in the waiting area.
We just talked about some stuff. I got pissed off by him because he's my boyfriend then he's teasing me to another guy. It just irritates me a lot. But we're already good now. So anyway, while we were seated in the waiting area, I was browsing his bag then I saw a grad pic of his past. I just didn't react because I didn't know what to react. I didn't even know what to feel that time. Well, its useless if I will get mad at him or something. It kind of hurt me but I have no idea why. Its already the past. He's mine now. But I still feel some doubts which I know its very wrong. Its wrong to have doubts about someone you love. I trust him a lot so because of that trust, I don't make things get in the way. Eventhough I know that he really loved that girl, that he did everything for her, I know everything's over between them. If my boyfriend has another girl, its his guilt that will kill him not mine. So anyway, I just have to have some outlet of my thougts. Bye guys.
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